Monday, March 7, 2011

The Slender Suit

If you haven’t yet realized this is the EPIC SAGA (lol) of a person who went on a weeklong ‘Slender Binge’ and ended up becoming ‘Targeted’ and paranoid, you fail. However I fail too as I just realized I made a pointless rant about myself that I would never dare to utter in person. Such is the magic of internet. Anyways, I noticed all the other Targeted folks seemed to be doing blogs and it seems to help a few of them out, so I’ve temporarily set aside my laziness (especially with writing) and see what I can offer (but mostly what I can gain). Yeah, that’s my reasoning. Selfish right? Plus I can establish a web of allies in the event I need help, or in the event someone else needs it too. Not sure what I can bring to the table but I hope it’s valuable in some way. Yeah, that's what I decided was my reason for starting this blog. It fits my personality best and makes sense to me.

But regardless, when I first realized it was happening, I went through the regular stages of denial, and it took him coming close enough to see his no-face to make me believe. I fucking freaked like you wouldn’t believe. I was paranoid as a motherfuck, especially since I’m so freaked out by darkness and being alone in the first place. It was VERY rough for a while, I literally, LITERALLY expected him to jump out of any shadow at any moment, or to turn around or even blink and find him there. It was rough (wow repetitive). I surrounded myself with people at every opportunity I got, and never turned out the lights. I would always go to bed after locking everything up and positioning myself so that I couldn’t be taken by surprise, and I’d always have a butter knife or heavy object with me. I would hide under a blanket with a hole that I could peek out of and quietly panic myself to sleep. It was a nightmare existence. It still is.

Nowadays though, I have the Slender Suit to protect me. The thought “I am The Slender Man” is strangely empowering and calming. I feel like I can handle it when he comes after me, and my head is clear. I almost never have nightmares or any of the other things happen to me. He’s not so terrifying when I’m just as terrifying as he is. I just make as vicious a face as I can behind my mask, tense my muscles, and concentrate on giving off a dangerous vibe, and it will be enough to repel him.

Not.

It doesn’t even faze him so I still have to run the fuck away; I just repel him in my mind (it’s a comfort thing). Of course I know that I haven’t changed in any way myself, but it’s what works for me since I’m not naturally courageous like others facing Slender Man. I never take the costume off unless I absolutely have to. I have a spare suit and the mask is easily replaced (honestly all I have to do is go to any fabric store), so I can still be the Slender Man while I do laundry. Taking a shower and eating are always a tense and quick affair since I don’t want to be without my protection any longer than necessary.

So anyways, I’m well suited to acting (I did some theater), I love costumes (It’s really fun), and by taking on Slendy’s appearance I gain some of his perceived mental attributes (I become my character). Thus the idea of dressing up like the Slender Man is pretty well suited to me. Don’t get me wrong; it isn’t just me wanting to be weird and randomly wear a costume, since at first I figured that he might actually FALL for my disguise or something. He didn’t fall for it in the slightest, so at this point I’m more concerned about people around me being disturbed and getting the cops than anything else. I kept on wearing the Slender Suit after the initial failure to trick him because it was somewhat fun and I gained a mental advantage from it. I still ran for my life and shit, but I wasn’t PANICKING anymore.

It works for me and it keeps me safe. I know I’m okay as long as I’m the Slender Man.

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